OPEN ON A BLANK SLIDE. A PROJECTOR IS HEARD. AS WILKIE BEGINS TALKING, IT CHANGES TO A SLIDE THAT READS, "RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT PRESENTATION 076-5848A"

WILKIE (NASALLY SOUNDING KNOW-IT-ALL): Sir, we have some breakthrough ideas to protect people from the West Nile virus.

BOSS (AUTHORITATIVE SOUNDING): Time's wasting, Wilkie.

CUT TO A NEW SLIDE: A CAN OF BUG SPRAY. THE TITLE READS "BUG SPRAY ACTIVE INGREDIENT 28% DEET (N-Diethly-3-Methylbenamide)". A GASP IS HEARD.

WILKIE: Sir we call this… bug spray.

BOSS: Bug spray?

WILKIE: The name's a work-in-progress. (CUT TO A NEW SLIDE: A CLOSE-UP OF THE BUG SPRAY BEING SPRAYED ONTO AN ARM.) You apply it to exposed skin and clothing and voy-la - no mosquitoes.

BOSS: Impressive. What else.

CUT TO A NEW SLIDE: A SHORT-SLEEVE SHIRT WITH LONGER SLEEVES STITCHED ON, AND A PAIR OF SHORTS WITH LEGS STITCHED ON. A GASP IS HEARD.

BOSS: Wilkie, what have you done!?!

WILKIE: It's called Project: Long Sleeve. Longer sleeves - and pants - will protect people from mosquito bites.

BOSS: You're good, Wilkie. You're very, very good.

CUT TO A BLANK SLIDE AND A SUPER:
    The West Nile virus is no match for common sense.
    Illinois Department of Public Health
    and your local health department